Suffering Through the Darkness of Depression

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An INCOMPLETE ESSAY

Life isn’t easy after death.  I died in the month of November upon committing suicide on the weekend after the harvest of Thanksgiving.

I arrived upon a destination which was isolated and kept a distance from travelers who would bay their vehicles and rest from a long journey’s propulsion where they would find relief at an oasis where many would travel from various areas across our nation.  The morning of my death was a chilly winter morning where the skies are dark and the stars illuminate as halos upon the earth and the earth sits still where the rotation has slowed to where one can examine the rotation through from the buttresses of the trees which redden from the fall season upon their variation of orange and have fallen upon the ground given that the winter’s solstice has frozen the roots of the pillars that rise and support themselves from the ground where we place our peds.  I arrived upon this destination because I knew it was secluded and I knew that my body would be left unfound; for those who would find my body would trek over my carcass like animals to either urinate or defecate as they passed over my body.  I sat there with the knowledge and intention to commit suicide because my life was become more and more controlled by others who would seek me out and persecute me because I was unlike other men or women.  I was unlike other men and women because I laid dead underneath the mass of two animals who sought out to fornicate with an animal who was in heat for the sweat and smell of another man’s warmth.

I contemplated and I contemplated with a strong intention to consume the medication which was prescribed for sleep; the medication was prescribed initially because I was not sleeping well and to aid me with my depression.  I suffered from insomnia and depression which lead to anxiety and agitation; the medication that was prescribed was Trazodone.  The descriptions listed by the following websites for Trazodone along with its side effects are:

According to Drugs.com[i]

Trazodone is an antidepressant medicine.  It affects chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause depression Trazodone is used to treat major depressive disorder.

An overdose of trazodone can be fatal when it is taken with alcohol, barbiturates such as phenobarbital, or sedatives such as Diazepam (Valium).

Overdose symptoms may include extreme drowsiness, vomiting, penis erection that is painful or prolonged, fast or pounding heartbeat, seizure (black-out or convulsions), or breathing that slows or stops.

And, according to WebMD.com[ii]

Common side effects of Trazodone oral:  with Less Severity

Less Serve:        Dizzy, Drowsiness, Feel like Throwing Up, Head Pain, Incomplete or Infrequent Bowel Movements, and Throwing Up

Infrequent side effects of Trazodone oral: with Severity and Less Severity

Severe:             Confused, Feeling Faint, and Involuntary Quivering

Less Severe:      Muscle Pain and Weight Gain

Rare side effects of Trazodone oral: with Severity and Less Severity

Less Severe:      Blurred Vision, Diarrhea, Feeling Weak, Twitching, and Weight Loss

Severe:             Anemia, Anxious, Bloody Urine, Brain Disease or Injury causing Inability to Communicate, Change in Appetite, Chest Pain, Chills, Chronic Heart Failure, Continued Painful Erection, Excessive Sweating, Fast Heartbeat, Feeling of Restlessness with Inability to Sit Still, Frequent Urination, Gas, Hallucination, Numbness, Numbness and Tingling, Over Excitement, Periods of Not Breathing, Seizures, Slow Heartbeat, Stroke, and Uncoordinated

I was dressed for the cold climate weather; I sat there listening… and talking…, to whom?  To those that were listening.  The contemplation lead me to the remember of those who had forgotten me; who are those that had forgotten who I am are those that have led to my persecution, whether it be before my suffocation where I was smothered underneath two men or after my suffocation because before my suffocation I was a normal human being with a job, with hopes, with dreams, with friends, with animals, with courage, with honor, and with nobility.  And, after my suffocation… I have honor, I have courage, I have nobility; what I lack are friends, family, animals, a home, wages, and warmth of another individual for whom I could share my experiences and my abilities in who I have become for the future we could hold together is a strong one where others may be weak to an end where the end has means for one to come together.

I sat in a car that I now call “Animal Kingdom Mobile;” the listeners were those who are of the natural and of the supernatural where those that hear the call of the Horn that blew for all Angels to hear.  As I sat with my feet upon the pedals which propelled me toward my destination point to a journey that I was uncertain to take with one foot upon the metals of the undercarriage and with that one foot still on the steel and rubber which would push the animal inside outward from an oasis where the trees pillar upon their buttresses and the water that ran came from a faucet which was made from the steel that we toil with the sweat and backache from our labor.  That pedal which ever so moves up and down or forward and backward is has been vulcanized to ensure its strength… its grip upon the soles the peds of our feet so we do not lose the pace for which we travel into the unknown.  I withdrew the medication from my jacket; I glared at the label as I would glare into the unknown through my windshield which holds a view of darkness, the tar is black which laid upon the gravel which laid upon the earth which was made from the lava and oil which burned from beneath the waters and sand and the skies are darkened from the lack of rays which would redden our backsides.  The darkness I saw was from within a bottle which held a label for death; death meant a journey which had no end because the suicide had no need but to only alleviate the pain and torment which I could no longer endure because one of the last words I heard was “Die”.

The label which is adhered to the bottle is placed there for a reason just as the labels which are upon our nameplates; my name plate was also placed inside my pocket where it was dark and where my eyes could not see through the fabric which was woven from the cotton which was harvested by the workforce of labor with an animal kingdom.  Labels hold pieces of information such as names and places where our name plates hide behind a barrier which ensures its safe keeping but also ensures its hiding places which tell us something about who we are and where we come from just as the dates which chronicle the life expectancy to either the bottle which contains a dosage or a driver’s license which bears a date where are places, ages and expirations come to renewal.  The bottle is now open and death has been unleashed and ready for consumption just as our lives our consumed by each other whereas a bottle containing death can contain hope for a future with each other can learn from a man who had committed suicide.  With water in hand which was delivered from an aquifer, bottled, and delivered upon the backside of a wagon where man and animal had traveled to a place to bring an oasis worth of wealth; and death in hand sixty tablets were consumed and a reservoir of water was delivered to a darkened place to dissolve into a reservoir of blood to where the place of death will be lite and the floor will be cold.  I placed hand and bottle to mouth and swallowed death not knowing that hope was already on its way; the voices are voices not just sounds of the wind, sounds of the breaking ice that comes from the moisture which batters our faces or breaks within the wind, or sounds that come from the audience whether they applaud or whether they cheer, the voices are those who sought me out and those who have chosen to either be my friend or to be my antagonist because either way the sounds are the winds which will cause my audience to Clair.

[i] Drugs.com

[ii] WellMD.com

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The Homeless, Section 6

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Our life stories are untold, our futures are unforeseen, our communities are unknown, our societies are miss-constructed, and our governments are ever changing; the stories of our lives are bring written as our futures are being spoken where are communities are being united upon a society which will come together allowing our governments to govern over our laws.  Our governing laws will see through a society where humanity will govern over themselves, our societies will push through a law where humanity can come together, and our lives will be forged through our friendships, our partnerships, our bonds, our ties, our relationships, and our love shall be extended to each other through communication where a connection can create hope for an alternate future.  Futures are untold and mankind will generate stories throughout our lives which will produce a bond between all mankind where communities, friendships and alliances can be forged to alter our futures and allow all mankind to play in a society with an animal kingdom where the homeless numbers will multiply to an astronomical figure allowing us to bring forth a nation craving new stories of life; and where the ever changing governments which rule over our lives, our homes and our business because allowances for our society where the outcast, deprived, disadvantaged, the withdrawn, and the poor can accelerate a future to ensure the sanctity of our fellowman set forth an evolutionary change in policy as to how our political governments view the lives of those who sought out need.

Mankind will unite a nation’s society to ensure hope can be given when the darkest of times will bring despair.  Mankind will be on its backside; and those who are not on their backsides will ride upon all fours because if they do not ride where they can be pushed, then they may appear on all fours a child.  A child may not be able to walk, a child may not be able to crawl, and a child may not be able to wheel itself upon a surface where rubble and decay has been spread like a plague.  Men and women will appear with child just as they once were delivered upon their backside to the arms of an awaiting parent.  Mankind will be pushing man, woman or child ever forward whether or not they would be traveling into a zone of despair; man, woman and child will be traveling either on foot, by cart, by wheelchair, by carriage, by crutch, by wagon, on all fours or crawling on one’s stomach to a destination unbeknownst to them.   The destination is our journey in to the darkness to seek out others who may be in need of our aid.  The aid for which we seek is a lending hand whose hands have come in search of a home.  We appear to each other as those who have traveled upon a time where desperation is beyond the reach of another’s hand as a child cries and reaches to a parent where a he or she can be received into their arms.

We reach into another’s arms either upward or forward to convey a message; when a message is hand-delivered, then the messages is delivered with each other’s hands grapping each other’s where each other’s hand form the resemblance of the shaking of hands.  When we reach in another man’s hand we are conveying a formal greeting with either an anticipation of success, an expectation of friendship or a gesture of kindness in hopes to form a bond or a tie with another individual.  When there is disaster there is destruction, where there is accident there is chaos, and where there is love there is hope; so, when there no likelihood of a meeting then there is no chance for people to come together, when there is occasion there possibility and where there is possibility then there is a chance for one’s hands to come together.  Where we come together is either by chance, by appointment, by occurrence, or by incident; we also come together when there is need, a requirement, hardship, and when there is desperation.  Each of these events leads to a the grasping of another’s hand or arm; so, as child moves into his parents arms and close to their heart there is love to bestowed, when there is friendship there is thoughtfulness, when there is an alliance there is regard, and where there dissociation there is no place for one to place their hand.

Therefore, destruction brings about chaos it can also bring forth hope, but when disaster brings desperation then desperation has lead us into destruction.  Desperation will bring people together just as where the bricks had fallen upon lives of individuals; if desperation can bring us together, then desperation can tear us apart.  Our lives have been torn apart by the falling of ash upon the brimstone just as the brimstone has fallen down upon the lives our citizens and just has the recession has fallen upon our society.  The brimstone now resembles the remains of our citizens who reside within the shelters of our institution or the shelters of our jungles where life can be found inside the skyscrapers, the towers, the high-rises, and the structures where shadow and light can be found.  When brimstone deconstructs our lives, then our lives have become deprived of light which leaves our days covered in shadow, and our nights covered in days where life has been the plighted is heartache and devastation.  The devastation of a society can lead to the heartache of individuals and the heartache can lead to loneliness where the loneliness can bring about the destruction of people’s lives.

With the disaster and destruction our lives, our lives can be torn into shreds just as a piece of cotton can leave a cotton thread upon a thorn. The thorns of our lives are the inconsistences we come across in a society where people are uncertain as to their goals which lead to their achievements. When the disaster brings about heartache because the inconsistences have brought about pain and injury; a life can impact another’s where a hand-shake or aid can bring about comfort to ease a heart which has been broken upon a stone where a thorn has laid and a dagger has been plunged into one’s heart.  Our lives pool together as blood does upon a stone, our lives can coagulate together as our lives hold our bonds we have tied together, our hand hold another’s where another’s holds ours just as the mortar binds an adhesive to hold the logs together, and our hands lead to our hearts which holds the blood which circulates the blood which pumps through our systems creating ties to a Deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) strand of life.  When a strand of life is tied to our streams of blood just as fish are bound to water, then our hand are bound to another’s man’s life; a strand of life is a strand of DNA which is coded to our lives just as our hands are bound in marriage.  Some marriages are bound with string or lace where some marriages our bound with truth and honesty; whereas, some marriages are tied in blood which ran upon a river of red for the river which carries the blue a stream of honesty that the heart and lungs have provided.

The stands of cotton are like the stands of DNA; each are woven to provide either clothing or life.  Life can be grasped just as a hand can grasp at a piece of clothing.  Clothing can sustain life where life can be stolen as a piece of cotton can be plucked from a field; the field that we have harvested now brings a yield of clothing which adorns our bodies to ensure that our hands are warm and our hands are full of life.  If the DNA had not completed a strand into life, then our bodies would not have been able to extend life a hand.  If a hand is not available to employ, then life will be stranded underneath the brimstone of disaster; the deconstruction of the aftermath is to salvage a wealth of people inside a community where fire and rock will lay bodies to rest.  The daggers of society are the thorns of our fingers which have brought down a building and removed the shelters of our society where bodies are found lying upon their backsides with clothing strung from their bedsides.  The clothes are the reminders of our labor, whereas, our hands are our reminders of our strengths.  Our strengths are reminders of our weaknesses where are bodies become weak after our hands have labored upon the earth for which we placed a seed.  Our bodies now wearied and our backs make of leather, we lay and rest for the evening has come and the night has brought us light.

The light which illuminates over our heads is the light which brings us hope; the light which brings us hope is the light where salvation can be found amongst the rubble.  Where rubble can be found, shelters will yield a new light.  The light which harvests new hope will bring about a new form of communication, and with a new form of communication can bring about a society without homelessness.  The light which harvests new hope a society will flourish amongst the rubble of brimstone where ash has fallen and where blood has been spilled upon the stones and mortar which held our buildings and homes together; and, when the thorns have lifted the bricks which had to laid to rest upon the ground, we now can raise a society of homelessness from the dark and bring hope to a future where all mankind will share a common goal to reunite a society where devastation has brought a field of men in a land where trees, brushes and shrubs have lived upon a blue marble known to us as earth.  This gravel pit where we harvested our minerals to lay a ground can be given a foundation to construct a home upon a land which will yield men and women, animals, and materials to institute a foundation where mankind can flourish upon a land which will be fruitful and plentiful.

The land will harvest men, women, animals and materials which will be called “Recyclable”.  When all these things are removed from this land then the land will no longer will flourish with mankind and animals; we will all be lost to a land which will need to be rebuilt and will a new creation of mankind.  An animal kingdom will survive like cockroach upon a land, and man will once again live like animals.  When we rebuild a land for mankind to survive upon, then we need to lend a hand so mankind can flourish; when mankind flourishes so will an animal kingdom.  Lands will be harvested, pools will be dug, water will run, sweat will pour, necks will redden and sore, backs will weary, communities will be built, societies will cultivate, unions will form, governments will be founded, and buildings will once again be erected where a workforce of labor can be hired.  The lands will survive with our heads lending a hand, so that our labors show our fruitfulness and endeavors; our labors will lend a hand in reconstructing our societies and our buildings where mankind can wield a hammer to construct a home for mankind to flourish upon the land.

The plumbs we utilize pilot our buildings upon a foundation where we build our relationships in labor, the workforce will be burdened, and mankind will rule within our governments where laws will be restructured to ensure mankind will prevail where it has faltered.  We will measure our strength by the bonds we forge just as a hammer welds to reinforce the steel which is used to build our shelters which will enclose us and keep us from harm.  With our rulers we will govern over a population which labor like animals allowing our workforce to pollinate and enrich a nation; our workforce will bring food and water, materials, supplies, communication, technology, and industrialization.  Mankind will arrive upon your doorsteps by foot or upon the backsides of the animal kingdoms which carried them to their destination; mankind will travel far, the distances of the lands to where the sun shall rise or the moon shall fall, where oases will rise from the sands and where the trees pillar from the gravel and dirt, and where water will be the demand for all mankind.  Man and animal will thirst upon the nectar of the land; the thirst comes in many forms and as to how we consume our raw materials and our tidings will be dependent upon mankind’s appetite.

Man’s appetite will flourish and so will the lands that have grown amongst our civilization; we will hunger, we will crave, we will yearn, and we will starve.  Our hunger will lead to riots, our craving will bring us knowledge, our yearning will allot us greed, and our starvation will guide us to our fellow man.  We will find ways to harvest a new beginning and we will find a way to become a collective of inhabitants upon arrive into a new land where a new frontier will yet be discovered.  We will grow in mass numbers, we will communicate, we will hunt, we will chase after one another, and we will produce and generate initiatives so others may quest upon a new nation allowing a nation to flourish.  We will decay by the thousands, we will bring about plague and pestilence, we cover the earth with nutrient, and we will be left on our backsides underneath the brush of the wasteland where mankind will voyage to find a territory livable for habitation.

Within our territories life will flourish in abundance, we pool our resources, we will collect our possessions, we find a hand we will call brethren, and we will provide others with a means of living upon a land which has been left to waste for the disposal of the land is a new playground for mankind collect themselves and come together.  The territories will have lines where mankind will no boundary; our boundaries will be drawn by our possessions which we are either willing to relinquish or hoard.  Our lines will be drawn by the placement of our possessions and by structures we have surrounded ourselves by; we will pool ourselves in a collective to ensure our boundaries are maintained.  Our lines will no longer be covered upon our faces, our images will no longer be seen in mirrors, our harpoons will no longer be shaped upon the fingers of our hands, and our smiles will no longer live upon our faces; as citizens who have encountered a time when need and want will no longer flourish, we will allege that our nations and civilizations will thrive.

Our lands will thrive with our fellow man lending a hand to one another, and our need for a workforce will recover will a need for mankind; our territories will unite upon the grounds of hope, and desperations will amount to a need of lending our palms to another.  Our palms will be injured and sore, our bodies will weaken and grow strong, and hooves will weigh the burden of survival; our iris are the mirrors for others to peer into our humanity, our spirits will decline where our emotions will soar, and our characters will be defined by the strength of our compassion and our earnest.  Our societies will flounder where our properties will dominate over jurisdiction, and our governing bodies will control a population where their laws may obstruct and their order may hinder the development of a community of people or a society of classmen.  Our governing bodies will discover a wealth of reserve amongst the land who has ensured our lands, our properties, our territories, and our unions have blossomed in a united common wealth where mankind can overcome obstacles no matter how difficult the hardships, heartaches and sorrows mankind has suffered to bring itself out of despair and desperation.  Mankind will guarantee that our lands and our nations are fruitful to an extent where mankind can flourish upon the wastelands that all mankind comes to bring their hopes and dreams; mankind’s hopes and dreams will no longer build upon the great American Noble Eagle upon the hands which we lay into the palms of another.

Desperation will convey a new message for hope and despair will express an emotion of need where mankind can communicate with one another upon a growth of greenery which arose from the molten lava which arose from the waters which contains the salt which also dwells within our bodies.  Man will bring forth unto a new nation under God where man will live upon the ruins of its own destruction; man and woman will live within a nation where man and animal will bring unto itself a new land which will be fertile and full of nutrient so that man and woman can be fruitful and multiply.  Mankind will guarantee that all man will have the change to give a new nation a viable source of food and water where cattle and horse will labor throughout the day to ensure that man has toiled over the land.  Mankind will harvest the playground where mankind will bring a wealth of supply of fruits, vegetables and meats for others to feast upon the land which was left desolate through their own hand and occupation; mankind will lend its backside to toil over the land where our nations have left desolate and where mankind is in despair.  Mankind will fortify the land so mankind can flourish and mankind will bring about change so that mankind will grow and prosper upon the land where we have brought a nation’s worth of wealth and prosperity into a nation which will flourish into a nation of hostile individuals.

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The Homeless, Section 5

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I believe that if we can reduce the national deficit, we can equally reduce the nation’s society of homeless individuals for whom we have discarded upon the land which will become “Recyclable” just as we will become “Recyclable”.  We all bring forth life whether it be by child or by earth; we all learn what it is like to live upon a planet we call a blue marble, and we all learn what it is like in preparation for death.  Mankind will give back to the earth just as we have taken from it; as to what we take and give back to this blue marble is dependent upon the faces we place before the mirrors of others.  We have already begun to reduce the nation’s homeless society by one percent (1%) in accordance with The 2013 Annual Homeless Assessment Report (AHAR) to Congress; if we could further that by reducing our unemployment rate with the Homeless society by one percent (1%), we may achieve a succession rate which would escalate into limitless possibilities.  Our current percentages of Homeless and Unemployment are detailed here:

The 2013 Annual Homeless Assessment Report (AHAR) to Congress[i]

• 610,042 people were homeless in the United States
• Nearly two-thirds of people experiencing homelessness (65 percent or 394,698) were living in emergency shelters or transitional housing programs.
• More than one-third of all homeless people (35 percent or 215,344) were living in unsheltered locations such as under

Ratios of the Unemployed to the Homeless[ii]

While employment and training programs geared to homeless people have proven to be effective in helping homeless persons obtain work, successful completion of an employment program by a homeless person does not necessarily end his or her homelessness. He or she still needs a decent job and a place to live. Therefore, transitional housing programs such as Sound Families in Seattle have become very beneficial. By giving these families a place to live, they appear to be better able to find housing. In this program, employment upon entry into the transitional housing was 27%; when these people exited their employment rate was 50% (Long, Rio, & Rosen, 2007).

My ideas to reduce the number of Unemployed and the Homeless are to reduce the number of “Recyclable” individuals.  In the past the last ten years, I have been coming up upon several ideas to reduce the Unemployment and Homeless ratios.  Here are just a few ideas I have created, and where opportunities can be established:

• We can reduce the Unemployment ratio by one (1%) percent within each company, just one percent. This one percent comes from your company and business employment openings; if you took one person off the Unemployment Line by hiring them prior who hiring an individual who is already receiving wages from an employer, we then can take that one person off unemployment.
• When we hire an individual who standing on the Unemployment Line at a lesser wage than the current salary of the job offering, and provide them training and education from government grants which employers are entitled to train and elevate his or hers education to the standards of the open job opening; then, we can increase the salary of the individual after completion of their education, training and probationary period.
• Now, if we took these ideas and offered them to our Homeless society, we could stimulate the hearts of mankind.
• Most homeless know where to seek aid, but the cost of providing a service to educate and train the Homeless society comes at a cost. The cost usually comes from our United States Government grants, from the aid of a community, from the aid our churches, from the aid of our business, and from the aid of an individual.  A resource of knowledge can be found in the Homeless community; all we need to do is provide a place for education and training of other homeless individuals to train and educate a society of Homeless.
• Recycling our society in volunteerism inside our United State Department of Labor to provide education and training to all who are unemployed, whether it be through a computer or whether it be hands-on.

We are then here by recycling the knowledge of all mankind to build a homestead in one’s mind, one’s heart, and one’s hand.  We have then provided a fertile ground for one to plant a seed where he can harvest with his cattle to provide a shelter from a storm where the necessity shall rise.  We have yet to see the disaster of a Homeless society; we came across one when the twin towers fell upon the earth.  What happens when the old rumor has been said, “that Los Angeles will all off the face of the earth and Nevada will have beach front property?”  A home is a place we can place our children, a home is a place we can place our families, a home is a place where we can place our feet, our animals, and our belongings; whereas, employment is a place where we build our hopes, our dreams, our futures, our prospects, our ideas, our viewpoints, our outlooks and our visions.  There is always potential for advancement; advancement may come from inside a Homeless society to being a Chief Executive Officer (CEO) or President of a company or corporation, one may never know or one by just blog about their success.

Our lives began as began a “Recyclable” population upon a marble which is a blue as the night’s sky, our lives began within the animal kingdom upon a marble where land fertile, and mankind made us of an animal kingdom.  We all live, we all die; as to how we live and as to how we die is here upon this planet we call a “Blue Marble”.  This “Big Blue Marble” we call home is a place made of recyclable materials and food.  As animals we consume everything, as man we consume and create, as mankind in the animal kingdom we devour all resources, and as man we can build a future where all animals can live and survive.  To destroy mankind is an abomination, to destroy an animal kingdom is eradication, and to destroy an animal kingdom which man was grown to love and cherish is a heartfelt; when mankind ends his own kingdom, then mankind must rise up again creating from ruin a society where man and animal can reside.  Will the planet we love and a nation we have created come to aid to rebuild a society where life was once created?  Upon the ruins there is life, a life homeless individuals and animals; will you come to aid the men and women that are in need and train them to rebuild a society where we can govern over our own home and animal kingdom?  Live begins with the hand of mankind, the mind which creates life is the mind that educates, teaches and coaches another to succeed in rebuilding a society where neighborhoods, communities, commodities, churches, businesses, and partnerships, and the heart creates opportunities, trust, belief, hope, confidence, faith and love.

When we extend our hands to mankind, do we extend our hearts, and/or do we extend our minds?  If it wasn’t for my heart, my mind would never extend my hand; when we extend a denomination that bears the markings of our United States Noble Eagle we utilize our hands; when we utilize our minds to extend our hands then we have built a trust were mankind can communicate.  When we extend our hearts we connect through communication to embroider a thread where our heads, our hearts, and our mind can build a network within one’s self to another or an animal kingdom.  We join together to build a bond to leave the “Recyclable” society in the past, and to forge a new foundation where mankind has once tread.  We are going live, and we are going to die; that is a part of existence.  Our animal kingdoms are going to live, and our animal kingdoms are going to die; that is part of their existence.  As to the choice that come within our existence are the decisions we make, and as to the decisions our animals make are the choices we have to live with.  Our choices are our decisions, and how we utilize those decisions come from within where the heart of soul is make these decisions to allow the mind to expand and erect a foundation where all mankind can contribute to another.  We have become sheltered within a realm where men and women hide behind the barriers of signs; these signs can either be placed before us we paw for a Noble Eagle to coin our own futures, or these signs be behind the labels that stimulate a society into a paradox where conflict, inconsistency, and disagreement have arisen.

The journey as to where life takes has yet to unanswered.  Our lives are our journeys, and our homes are our sanctuaries; whether or not, if we are homeless or harbored, we still travel through a thoroughfare of decisions, choices and options which leads and guides us through life; but, when those things are taken away from us and left to the hands of others, then we cannot harbor a thought which will propel our lives into opportunity where we can construct our own threads and ties to a life where we can yield a harvest, raise cattle, build a foundation for a family and children, adopt an animal kingdom to provide us warmth, humor, sadness, comfort, conversation, and above smiles.  If these things are taken away from each of us, then we have yet to unleash our own opportunity to yield a harvest of kindness where prosperity and hope can flourish upon a place we call earth.  This earth will not last forever, nor will our harvest, nor will our homes, nor will our communities, our neighborhoods, our societies or our governments; our lives comes together and our lives come apart, our animals kingdoms come together and our animal kingdoms play these games, our homes will come together and our homes will come tumbling down for the remodeling will wield a hand and the wield of our hand will bring upon the destruction, our building will ascend into the skies where the day will be covered by shadow and our buildings will descend where shelters will be built to deliver protection from a storm where the homeless will reside, and our homeless will come together where population will escalate to a number which is uncontrollable and our homeless will bring forth a lending hand to others who have weathered the storms of violence and devastation.

Our life stories are untold, our futures are unforeseen, our communities are unknown, our societies are miss-constructed, and our governments are ever changing; the stories of our lives are bring written as our futures are being spoken where are communities are being united upon a society which will come together allowing our governments to govern over our laws.  Our governing laws will see through a society where humanity will govern over themselves, our societies will push through a law where humanity can come together, and our lives will be forged through our friendships, our partnerships, our bonds, our ties, our relationships, and our love we shall extend to each other through communication where a connection can create hope for an alternate future.

[i] The 2013 Annual Homeless Assessment Report (AHAR) to Congress

[ii] National Coalition for the Homeless

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The Homeless, Section 4

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As the blades of the grass grows from underneath the warmth of our backs, the earth moves with the weight of those who have caught the rising sun where the animals have either traveled either on foot, on animal or on transport, we gaze in to the sky viewing the possibilities of a future where a skyline of prosperity will offer riches and fulfillment so we can leave the fields of despair which have brought us vision to yield a growth in workforce.  As the blades of grass pierce our backsides, so do the words and writings of rejection.  We spend all day contemplating a new beginning, managing our resources, and building the bravery to face a world where progress can be achieved from a person who sees a world in a different light.  The light can either be dark or it can be as bright as the Northern Star because these are the hours we begin our journeys though the lands to achieve our own freedom where the ties that we left behind on a land and within the fields where we have toiled to ensure the prosperity of our future, and which has expanded before us and is now beginning to shrinks underneath the soles of our feet, because within these hours we travel in droves to ensure the land is fertile and abundant.  If the land is not fertile or abundant then growth is impossible.  And, if growth is impossible then the wasteland for which we are standing upon is dead and so is the workforce which has aided you in cleaning the grounds for which you have littered.

The grounds which you have left to waste are the grounds where we bring you fortune, growth, abundance, and progress.  The waste which we bring you is the resource for which we have built your homes, your buildings, your businesses, your fields, your lands, your territories, your walls, your barriers, your ships, and your containers for which we drink a wealth of egotism.  With today’s words we have chosen the word, “Recyclable.”  As a labor of homeless are we not as equally recyclable?  As a “Recyclable” human workforce, we are equally as gifted and knowledgeable in a labor force of individuals who have accomplished wonders prior to you achieving your success and wealth.  Within a wealth of labor the hands that come to your for achievement are trained, skilled, competent, proficient, clever, and manageable, but above all we are a labor force which is useful to an environment and can achieve wondrous things from a hand that delivered to those who may have had a time of crisis or need.  We examine various land far across the continents whose nation’s labor force is its national resource and whose population exceeds ours six times over.  Our nation is constantly working and so is its workers; it does not matter if you are employed or not employed, gaining an income or living off the wealth of the land.  We constantly working.  We move in directions that man never thought possible, we shift from forward to reverse, we toss and we turn, we stand on our heads or we stand upon our two feet, because when we are down upon all fours, we are down upon all fours in servitude of mankind.

When we are upon all fours serving mankind, then we bear the weight of the animal which brings us either up or down as a libation equally does.  Being a part of the homeless society, we bear the weight of mankind for mankind has become the animal in the fields where we sow our seed for harvest and fertilization.  We travel the wasteland seeking fertilization for employment, but festination is impossible without opportunity.  Opportunity in a market which still seeks recovery can then be called a game of chance; because, chance is the game we take.  In the game of chance, on a job market which has yet to fully recover is still a game of chance; the chances of obtaining a position is in the hand of your fellowman.  The field of opportunity where animals have traveled and man bore the backside of society, we gamble to succeed in a market which takes chances on money but not on manpower.  Manpower is the animal you seek to provide you servitude, whether servitude either come a minimum wage or at a high salary; we all seek out some form of denomination.  Inside the homeless society, your recyclable can equal your denomination; whereas, your hand that shakes above the ground where your feet tremble can equal a doorway which was lead from a pathway from doorway-to-doorway.

As a part of the human race and as part of the “Recyclable” community, through one out and buy a new, our homeless society takes more than an equal part in how we are recycled.  The opportunities become limited due to various reason and circumstances.  Some circumstances come from self-gain, some come from egotism, some come from harassment, some come from an injustice, some come from a disability, some come from company closures, some come from a lack of knowledge and training, some come from extended period of unemployment, some come from changes in resume formatting and what people which to see, and some come from the lack of attention that others which to give to those who may be in need of an opportunity where chance and luck can open a doorway to a new pathway from where an existence seemed unlikely.  Circumstances are the roadways we take to seek out a new frontier, and where the new frontier is the horizon which is unforeseen.  The unforeseen circumstance is a journey to the frontier which brings us in the forefront of mankind; whereas, the pathway which leads to the doorway is an open doorway to man and a circumstance to a frontier which brings us to a new horizon.

Within the new horizon is a frontier of man, women and circumstance; because without man, without woman, circumstances cannot be created and opportunities cannot be achieved.  We all strive to be better than what we are; but, the doorways seem always closed.  Inside a laboring workforce, mankind is on a pathway to achievement where a new horizon can be foreseen, and a homeless man or woman can be the succession to your unexpected future.  The unexpected future in unknown as to when, how, or why a change is coming.  With an unexpected future a man or woman who had become or is in a homeless situation can take the time to see a future where mankind can achieve the most un-likeliest of obstacles.  The most un-likeliest of obstacles are to bring one’s self out of poverty to the richest of men; the richest of men may not be in wealth but may be in its fellow mankind.  Riches may come from means of gambling to means of gaining employment after training, riches may come from the soil from where we toiled all day under the suns lava rays which bake the skin from which was torn by the labor of our sweat and thirst of our mouths, or the riches may come from mankind itself where we lead another into a succession of achievements.

When achievements have no pathways, then the pathways bring no riches; and the doorways which are to open and not to close have riches for all to share, where the sharing is an endeavor for one to excel and soar for the flight is in our achievement and triumph.  When we share our riches the triumph can be achieved gracefully and without embarrassment; where the embarrassment comes from is from those who chose to walk away from the sight which sets before them, because that sight could be their reflection as they passed by a man or woman for whom they have chosen not to lend assistance.  When lending assistance mankind improve one’s existence on a frontier which holds a new horizon; and, each man and woman can boldly go where no man has gone before into a future where homelessness has been abolished as equally as we have abolished slavery.  For the equality of mankind seems to come in paycheck, and where denomination is our status and our education is our norm.  The education that you may see on a resume may not equate to the education and training that equates to the trade for which one labors on hour-less days where sweat and perspiration have transpired.  The qualification of your degree may not match the qualifications of your degree, but, your degree may include the calculations and a skill which required on-hands training.  Our degree differs by the psychology, sociology, the character, the direction, and interaction of individuals or persons.  The concentrations require labor extensive ours, but also require the insight, the background, the development, and the interactions between individuals or persons; because, mankind also or by itself cannot build, grow, or mature when one is by itself.  Each person must have an animal, a man or a woman to interact with society, a community, a neighborhood, or a home; when we are standing alone in the field which arose from the desert we find a vast land worthy of development.

As we develop the land we want to call home to build our homestead we find that it becomes labor intensive and the land becomes defined by our labor; our labor is the work of our hand which is torn by the tools we use to ensure the soil is fruitful.  As we work the land, we stop and find that the land may be in need of more tools to turn the soil, to lift the trees which we have laid to the ground and removed it greenery for mulch and packing, to hoist the logs upon a foundation to construct a home where I can raise a roof to build a shelter cover me from the storm, the wind, the rain, the heat, the moisture, and from the dry air which evaporates the sweat from my leathered skin; we then seek out an animal kingdom which will aid us in our construction of our home and the harvesting of the land.  We have turned the soil from which the oxen, mules and horse have turned, we have constructed a figure made from a resource from the land we settled, and we have harvested the earth to produce a resource which an abundance is required; the homestead which is surrounded by earth, soil, gravel, trees, brushes, shrubs and contains water for which our bodies require to produce the sweat of our labor which bring us our riches and wealth.

Upon the land now resides a home, how many bedrooms, how many bathroom, how many kitchens, and how many living spaces does not really matter; it is a settlement where I can shelter myself and my animal kingdom from the storm, reap my harvest feed my cattle, horses, mules and myself, and relax from a day’s worth of labor because I have built my workforce upon a land where a nation will shelter mankind and bring forth a wife, a child or children, and an animal kingdom where a dog and cat shall be called Scrabble and Binxy.  Upon this land contains my riches where my choice in my decisions shall be made and heard, where the choices of my decisions become my own, and my mistakes become my pitfalls; the choices my of where my animal kingdom make are their choice for the cattle lay down with the cattle, and horses and mules lay down with each other.  Scrabble and Binxy are of a different animal kingdom however the choice and decisions are theirs to make; whereas, their behaviour is monitored by their owner.  I am my own animal kingdom and inside my animal kingdom reside a woman, a man and a child, and the decisions we make are the choices which will lead us into a new frontier of prosperity and warmth.  For I once was homeless, without a home, nonetheless I now a place where the warmth of my heart can grow and bring hope into the future of mankind.

I have now created a pathway within my home where doorways lead to places lead to a furnishings, and furnishings lead to comfort.  When the furnishings are gone they become “Recyclables,” and where do we recycle the “Recyclables”?  Upon a wasteland to ensure a homeland can remain fertile to ensure the regeneration of earth and the land can reproduce the losses of its resources; because, if the waste of mankind cannot be renew then the revitalization of ground where we place our two feet and the animals place their four feet, mankind will vanish and turn upon themselves as wolves have turned on man.  If man has created a pathway in his home, then a man can create a roadway to bring forth labor.  I roadway can bring from labor, then a doorway has lend itself to an opening where a workforce then is created.  The creation of labor had lent itself to the development of training and education; where training and education has lent itself to the nutriment of leadership and guidance of mankind upon the lands which will flourish on a nation underneath a Northern Star, where light can be found in the darkest of the nights.

Upon the roadways in the darkest of nights and an animal kingdom now resides under the trees, the shrubs and bushes, mankind hides from the animals that close the openings to the doorways which brought the animal down a pathway to wealth and growth, harvest of knowledge, the invention of change, and the transformation of a society to revolutionize a future of “Recyclable” men, women, and animals.  A new society can be born in an animal kingdom where mankind will rule the earth to discover that as “Recyclable” men and women, man can change, alter and transform, for a man or woman of means to a man or woman of modest living to a man and woman of poverty; mankind can evolve from animal and amend a nations worth of homeless men and women into a livable society which would welcome them and strengthen them so they may discover not only themselves but their fellowman.  Not all men and women are suited for the workforce environment, but wouldn’t it be great if we could find a place where their hopes and dreams could come true just as our pride runs through our constitution and the colors of our nation’s flag.  These men and women still provide a workforce full of labor because their experiences may not equal our own; however, their skills can become ours, whereas, our skill can become theirs.

Their society now where equivalent to a society of those who may have their own homestead or development; nonetheless, their society can become our society.  They travel within our society sometimes unnoticed and sometimes with hand to offer; within their travel they travel on foot, on bus or by thumb.  These men and women may not deserve fair treatment, some have not evolved from their animalistic nature, some may only be seeking temporary housing to shelter themselves from the turmoil that has befell them, and some may need aid to ensure their disability can be governed either by another or by themselves.  Fair treatment is deserved by all who come before us; we do not impart fairness to all whether mankind be of a society of homeless men and women to a society of lower class citizens to a society of middle class inhabitants to a society of upper class highbrow ordinary men and women.  We all view each other differently, we all view each other the same; we don’t see each other for who we truly are whether it be through our education, our mannerisms, our statue, our walk, our character, our demeanor, or through our pocket book or wallets.  We see a man, we see a woman, we see each other, we don’t see each other; we may sit across from you, we may sit next to you, we may sit alone or we may sit at different tables, but what we don’t see is person for whom we have created in the mirrors of each other’s lives.

I may reside within a homeless society, I may reside in my car, I may reside in the home of my parents or relatives, or I may reside behind a shrub, a bush, or underneath a trees where my belongings are carefully place in a cart which may have carried your child and groceries; what matters is that I deserve fair treatment as you deserve the same.  I have traveled upon the soles of my feet and have torn the leather from my soles, I have broken my laces where I have left the threads to leave a trail of my remembrance, and/or I may have left my shirt upon the road where many have traveled just as I have donated my trousers to those who may be in need; I have created pathways for horizons for others to follow, I have prospered where others will flourish, and I have endeavored to bring you into a future where the homeless will pursue your aid.  I have struggled to find myself, I have committed a grave infraction, I have become a man who foresee change in society where other have discarded their human waste upon land I have to obtain shelter, and I have become a man who will bring the future to you whether it be in my writing or within heart because my head has brought my hand to the paper to provide you thought where food can thrive.

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The Homeless, Sections 1 & 2

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Are the Homeless truly homeless, or are they just without a home?  What is it like to be without… without a home… without a place to place your belongings?  What is like to be homeless without friends, family, acquaintances and associates?  What is life like when you cannot earn a wage, or rely on the government for assistance?  Is there a place to play upon this earthly ground, is there a place to play upon a playground, or is there a place to play above the ground?  Where is home, where is my playground, where is the place I place my head, and just where is the place I place the remains of heart?  I am here to provide you with my heart on this matter for my heart is my home, and my heart is the only home I have; so, what I have left is my shield and my sword which protect and defend my heart which I carry home.  Therefore, I am never truly homeless; I am just without… without a place to play with my things inside a place I can call home.

The Homeless are homeless for many of reasons, and many of reasons which are unknown to me or maybe to you because you may know of a man who is homeless and shares a pathway into a place within your home.  Under federal law to be homeless is to be without a home; as to your chronic condition of homelessness is founded upon various conditions and varied situations.  To be listed as “HOMELESS” sounds so derogatory in terms of the name itself.  We all have a picture of an individual on the street corner, either with a sign or just with their hand placed outward ready to receive the smallest amount of denomination possible.  The signs are come in many sizes, many shapes and in many forms; most commonly from a cardboard box.  What you don’t question is where the box came from; what is their home, was it their temporary shelter, or was it the covering they placed over their head when it rained.  The sign what was it made of, what was written upon this piece of paper that drew your attention, and what was used to stencil upon placard which was being presented before you that passed by your eye?  Was it a pen, a crayon with color to emulate the need for which their heart may have or may have not desired, was it a marker which was discarded and may have gone transparent, or maybe… maybe… it could easily be the feces of our own human waste because we are the waste which mankind so easily discards.

Whomever the man or woman is on the corner, under the tree, in front of your local market or store, in the park which may lay upon their backside or in a shelter which may house many, a few, several, or just one; how do you look upon them?  Is it the same way you look upon yourself in the mirror which I have brought to the forefront verses the background, or is it the way you look upon your family, your friends, your relatives, your acquaintances, or your internet friends?  You may read upon with your disgust or an appetite to do nothing; whatever it may be, that image of homelessness is right there in front of you.  The images of homelessness come in many of form, shape and size because the homeless even have to look upon the mirrors which we share in public.  Are we the homeless or are we the ones without a home?  I maybe secure in the place I reside, I may be protected by four walls, a ceiling and a floor underneath my feet, or I may be secure with who I am.  Who I am is protected now by my shield and my sword for which I carry to protect and defend against the gaining foe which will stand before me and attack at my heart.  Where the Homeless places their two feet or their backsides is a place of their choosing; however, their choosing may not be the place of their heart.

The term “HOMELESS” is given to us by our governments which oversee the population of those who become transient.  Where is the need of homelessness?  Is it the need of just a place to stay for a while, whether it be for a day, a week, a month, three months, or a year; or is it a label which we place on those who are carrying their baggage behind them, or within a vehicle, or upon their backsides, or is a place for one to get a fresh start, possibly with a job, or possibly for recovery, or possibly a rescue or an escape?  Is it a place to shower, to shave or a place to defecate; maybe…, it is for all three?  Are reason are truly only know to us and not to our governments.  The label in my opinion is a label that I wish I did not have to wear; nevertheless, it is a classification that I must place on paper in order to receive aid.  As to how much aid I receive is dependent upon my need, my disability, my handicap, my disorder, my quest, my survival, and even a community support.  My need for a home was based upon my need for a job, a need for wages, a need for shelter, and a need because all other doors were closed to me.  I may be standing on the Unemployment Line awaiting a position, but our unemployment factors do not work the same as they used to twenty to thirty years ago from this era of self-promotion.

My need comes from a place where I cannot park and sleep in my vehicle on a nightly basis not know where I am going to be able to shower, shave and prepare myself for an interview.  My need comes from knowing that sleeping upon my backside upon the ground which the earth’s core warms are backsides and the air cools the sweat that radiates from our brow.  My need comes from know that I don’t have to defecate or urinate upon your lawn, or leave a brown flaming bag of manure; nor do I have to ask for a key to utilize a public facility knowing that the restrooms are for paying customers only.  My need comes knowing that I do not have to wash my garments either in a toilet or within a sink which may leave a trail of markings behind.  Because of who I am, I take these things into consideration and for your consideration; although, your consideration may not equal my consideration.  I am not judging you as to what you see, but I am merely highlighting the things that you may see or want to forget.  Do we forget our homeless?  Possibly…?  We pass by then on a daily basis, and as to the actions that we take are the actions that we don’t take.

I have been known to not take any action when I may have been employed; however, it does not mean that I do not open my head to the thought of the need that is required to support our homeless.  Am I guilty of not contributing?  Yes.  Am I guilty of not offering?  Yes.  Am I in a situation that has been brought upon by the actions of others?  Yes.  These actions may easily have been because of the recession, these actions may have easily been brought upon by the Sheriffs of Riverside County, these actions may have been brought upon by my own hand, or these actions may have easily been brought upon by our policies on how we hire our homeless society.  I struggle on a daily basis; now through depression, false arrest records, false accusations, harassment thought a form of electronic communication, knowing where my next place of residence is going to be whether it be inside a jail cell serving three square nutritious meals a day, or whether it be in another shelter, or whether it be scouring the street for a place to park or to escape the heat of the day where the sun shines brightly down upon the trees which provide the shade where seek out the breeze for which the wind will provide to cool our backsides and the hair which may rise upon ones chest.  I am struggling to make a court appearance, make a job interview, to make life happen underneath my feet.  I am struggling to stay in contact in family, with friends, with business contacts, with my animal kingdom, and my medical appointments; it even goes to the extent of proving my cases for which I have so unjustly and been wrongfully accused.

I struggle to maintain my sanity knowing that at any moment of the day my depression could escalate.  After surviving a suffocation, a suicide attempt with a knife to the throat, a suicide which lead to resurrection and a suicide attempt which lead to me calling the local Sheriff’s Department leading to an ambulance and the pumping of my stomach, I find almost solace and a friend within a shelter which has provide me a place to call home.  It may not be permanent, but it is out of reach from the harm that others have caused.  Homelessness is not a virtue nor is it something I would wish upon anybody, but it is a place where I can obtain a hot meal, warm bedding, clean clothing, workforce assistance, aid to medical appointment, maybe not all types but those that are available, or a friend, and a place where I can feel comfortable, yes…, I said, “comfortable” to defecate.  My needs are fewer than others, however, they may be greater than most; my need for assistance is the need for a place, a place where I can look, I can glare, I can study, I can move forward, and a place I can advance and especially a place where a mirror is hung inside a nook so I may prepare to examine the images that I see upon a daily basis.

The images are sometimes singular in thought and the motions appear the same, the person behind the grocery cart may be the person you least likely to expect to change a nation; whereas, the motions are the same to insight a bit of change into ones hand, hat or box for you either assist or not assist in placing a noble eagle within my grasp.  The images of the homeless are the images you want to see.  Each person’s condition is different and never the same.  An image of the homeless is an image which can set before you; where have you placed you mirror?  Is your mirror on your bureau, your nightstand, on your bathroom wall, hung within the closet, on your makeup counter, or strategically placed within the room for your self-image to appear; whereas, in a public restroom your image may never appear, for you may just have to look for a shiny surface that is either dull or a distorted reflection of who you are.  You mirror or reflecting glass should be in a place for you to pass by every time you either enter or exit a room.  The image are always going to change, and so, are the people that pass by these images of who they are.

The minutes of the day are the minutes within the hour; whereas, seconds of the day are the seconds we wonder if those images we look at are going to change either in front of our eyes or in front of someone else’s irises.  The images may take on a metamorphosis whether we are peering into those not so shiny objects which contain a reflection of my distorted image because the image upon my face is already distorted by the uncleanliness of our environment; or whether if they appear within a piece of glass which contains the nickel for which are noble eagles may reside.  There may be a room without a reflecting metal; does your image still appear or do you stand there a feel your way through the image which you have memorized for so many years; subsequently, you could say the image was standing in the room.  The reflection of the image may not have been set before you; however, you could have easily created an image within your own creation of an oasis.

The images we see are the images of the homeless; the homeless is a person who is lost, the homeless is a person without a home, the homeless is a person without a job, the homeless is a person without a friend, the homeless is a person without a family, the homeless is a person without an acquaintance, the homeless is a person who has no direction, the homeless is something you push upon a person, the homeless is a label that you have so easily placed upon another person, and the homeless is classification as which we hold as is if we had bitten into a poison apple.  The images we hope to see for the homeless are the images we wish to see in ourselves.  We see the homeless as discard waste to our society, and we do not see what they contribute.  They keep the job market moving; they are the ones that are in and out of jobs so frequently.  Well, these is what we think they do; some actually stay in their jobs until they can see a promotion or advancement within a company, or even in relocation.  The homeless are the ones that aid us in recycling to reduce our carbon foot print; they are the ones that labor with the sun to their backsides to ensure the reduction of a carbon foot print is achieved.

You may not notice, or maybe you have; but, when have noticed you have turned your head rather thanking them for their contribution to our local community and to our planet that we share together.  The carbon we save is the carbon we can push back into the ground from which we have so greedily burned through combustion.  The carbon we breathe is the carbon we are deemed to seek out death by; this carbon is will eventually remove the discarded from this earth.  We discard our looks upon the Homeless as we easily as we discard the rubbish from our windows as we travel down the pathways which carry us from one destination to another.  The pathways of the homeless are the same pathways we travel until the roads divide taking us to another destination upon our journey through our lives.  The destinations of the homeless are the same journeys we travel except their journeys are their challenges that they face as we face the challenges of seeing ourselves in a mirror and identifying either our names or our identity.  Our identities can be lost as equally as a homeless member of our society can be lost amongst the either the towers of a large city, the small buildings within a residential area, or within the wasteland of the desert where the brushes and shrubs grow to provide shade to the animal kingdom which seek relief from the heat of the blazing sun which rides upon their backsides all day long.

No matter where the homeless reside, they travel the highways and roadways which expose a pathway to your home or your business which both contain the waste of our environment which was created by mankind.  How we travel these roadways is dependent upon how healthy and strong-spirited the homeless are.  The destination of each person’s journey is as vast has our roadways which either made of dirt, sand or mud, or of rock and tar for which we can lathe our faces.  The pathways are filled with debris as our loathing for the homeless is filled with disdain for a community which hides within our society, whether, it be in the dark, in the shadows, underneath a tree, behind a waste receptacle, or in an automobile seeking out parking either for long-term or short-term; each long-term or short-term parking will never be for an extended period of time.  The extended periods of time are those for which our society will see because our society wishes to never see the homeless for which they have so easily discard upon the roadway, the hidden spots, the back allies of your businesses and residences, the darkened ravine, and the shadows in the blackened allies where the dumpsters collect the human waste for lack of a public facility.

In the darkness we fear the unknown, the unknown which is set right there in front of us, beside us, next to us, or right there… right there behind us.  The darkness hides the shadows, and we, as the Homeless, are the shadows of society just as the shadows upon your face which your make-up or sunglasses may hide.  The darkness shrouds over our eyes as we cover our eyes with eye shadow as the sunglasses cover over the black-eye you may have received from the scuffle or beating that you may have taken, because the shrouds of darkness hide the reality of who we are; where, the shrouds of darkness hide the reality of who we are when we are homeless.  The darkness covers, the darkness masks, the darkness provides the shade from which we have scorched our necks and backsides, and the darkness provides us new prey for which we can prey upon either the weak or the strong, the elderly or the young, or the homeless or the not so homeless.  As we seek cover within the shadows knowing the darkness will take away our light and the heat from our necks and where are sweat pours downward unto our backsides, we shroud ourselves in clothing that will mask our appearance and will keep us warm, and hidden from the prey which travels along the pathways to either our places of business or residence.

The pathway lead us in multiple directions, and in the mid of night the thorough-way may not appear clear; the night hides the trees and the brush, and hides our predators for whom prey upon us.  It truly may not matter if we are homeless or if we are the Homeless, when we on the terrain we are without a home.  The terrain holds many animals, they all travel to find food and water and the buildings resemble trees, whereas, our homes resemble the brush; whereas, man resembles the animal which preys upon our dwellings.  Our dwellings are the places we rest our feet; it doesn’t matter if you are at work or play.  The places where we rest are feet are supposed to be a secure shelter from where the storm may fall; there are many storms which dance upon our heads.  They are here to provide us food and water, and an oasis so our bodies may dwell upon the land that was divided by water so long ago.

Our dwellings come in numerous configurations where they come with countless settings arrangements for our bodies to place our backsides.  Our feet take us to the places we find to rest; they are the most used resource of our bodies.  Whereas, our hand are our paws which access our necessities to survive amongst the land where our dwellings have been place strategically long the landscape of the land because the land is what hold our structures together as we hold our clans together.  We travel together across the land where or roads have either come together or have divided amongst the valleys or within the deserts, or within the oceans; as the homeless we travel a footpath by ourselves and seldom without others to walk by our sides.  The footways are the paths to either a life of solitude, or a life we spend with others; as our paws are used to provide us the necessity to life, our hand are used in many of formats either to reach for a pen, to grasp our swords, to wipe the disgrace from our backsides, to cleanse our faces and to wash our feet from the soil which our earth has provided, to hold the money which we need to survive the wilderness of our society, to paw at our family members when we are child reaching for our mother’s milk, to masturbate upon the conflicts of sexuality, and extend upon another as we grasp the hands of our fellowman because mankind are the ones who have left us homeless upon roadways which we either travel to success or poverty.

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What If…?! Part 3…I was Never Told the Untold Story

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What if…?!

What if…!  I was never told the untold story?  The untold story…, where would I be today?  Probably still dead on the cold tile floors of a public rest area for all public view to see.  Where exactly was I left on the red brick colored floor where urine and fesses may lay in the cold air, it was behind a locked stall door which could be readily opened where anyone could rescue my lifeless body.  My head and body rest upon the floor after the collapse of my weight descending to the ground.  My head bleeding from the kick-plate to the cold stainless-steel bowl which holds our bodily waste.  My left and ankle extended beyond the latched doorway to my rescue and my body ever so leaning backwards into the next stall for all public view to laugh and point a finger.

There I lay, there I stayed, there… there… there to be mocked and ridiculed by those whom not know what to do.  If I hadn’t revived, if I hadn’t recovered, and if I hadn’t awakened to my own blood which had bled and clotted.  I arose in bewilderment as to my whereabouts and as to how long I had been undiscovered; I laid there in disgrace and in disgrace of those who had left me there.  I knelt, I climbed, I stood and I staggered as I swayed trying to keep my balance; I gathered my strength upon my two feet as I leaned into the wall for balance.  The room was still cold from the fall weather as the moon had arose above the earth, and I found myself grabbing at tissue to clean and cleanse the area; and, as for myself, I needed to do the same.  I continued to awaken to my surroundings, I opened the stall door and exited to find brown paper towels for which to thoroughly clean the area and myself; I was covered in blood.  My head, my heart, and my hands laid in a covering of red plasma which needed to be washed away as my sin needed to be washed away.

My own transgression was my sin upon myself and for those who hath saved me after my suffocation.  I staggered to the wash area and cleansed my body as I cleansed the floor for which I had laid.  I manage to stop the bleeding and wash away the appearance of the disgrace I had endured.  The area which I laid and the area which I had bled over became clean with some effort, towels and water.  The basin, the kick-plate and the tiled floor became as if I was never there.  So, if this story went untold, then this story went untold; wherefore, this story is my story where I share my story to you and all.  This untold story is a story to tell; where to tell this story is to change our faces in a nation where we wear our disgraces.  The disgrace in this untold story is that I am the one that has make each person aware of the blind-sightedness of the untold story where we as people of a society are blinded by the need of an individual.

This untold story is also an untold story of the harassment, the injustice, the pain and anguish an individual must endure.  This story is about violence, vengeance, sexual assault, wrongful arrests, covert operations, non-disclosure, ignorance, bullying, and lack of integrity in mankind.  This becomes the story of stories, where stories seem untrue but are true to fact.  These stories are stories which make life sometimes unbelievable, but are the stories which make dreams come true.  This story is a story where life, liberty, justice, the pursuit of happiness and the American Way prevail.  This story is the story where we question truth, honesty, integrity, life, liberty, hope, decency, value, friendships, relationships, passion, lust, trust, ignorance, intelligence, forth rightfulness, dishonesty and thievery.  This is the story where we start tell ourselves and others “True and Factual Statements,” because this is the story of stories where “Big Fat Lies” have been told.

Where am I today?  Alive!  I am alive.  This story was the story of secrets.  The secrets are to never tell this story.  Why shouldn’t my story be told?  Was it to keep me imprisoned?  Yes.  Was it to take advantage of a person whose self-worth meant something to him?  Yes.  Was it to teach this person a lesson?  Yes; but, now whose lessons are they?  This story needs to be spoken; there are many stories which overlap the initial suffocation that was broadcast live over an open internet with three individuals at the helm, and one a relative to mask the relationship of the assailant.  The story goes, “To Play USNdaddy and USNpig as the Fool” or “To Play this Man as the Fool”.  This story exposes how our fellow mankind wanted to play the role of USNdaddy, and never had the gall to tell him as to the game they were playing.  These men all hid behind one man, these women all hid behind one woman; these men followed the lead of one man, whereas, these woman followed the lead of one woman.

These man and women wanted to stand in the shoes of USNdaddy or USNpig just as Carroll Scherber stood in the sandals of Jesus Christ.  I easily spoke of how “they all wanted to be USNdaddy but could not stand up to him.”  These words became easily misconstrued.  In these stories, one was to stand on the backside of another; whereas, another was to sit upon the lap of another.  USNdaddy stands for his integrity and honor, his knowledge and kindness, his aid and courtesy, and his self-identification.  When one man stands for these values, do others chastise and ridicule?  Or, do these share and treasure the measure of the man?  We would rather play a man or woman as the fool rather than ask ourselves as to how I can share in this person’s life.  So, to play the man or woman as the fool is truly to stand in another’s shoes.

I can sit here and read out to you many examples of how to play our fellow mankind as the fool; or, I can write upon the descriptions of the fool.  Which would you prefer…?  Well, here are just a few definitions of the word “Fool.”  To dupe, to make the clown, to make the laughing stock, to hoodwink, or to make one the monkey.  My experience here has been where they have mislead, deceived, and to make me look as if I was the buffoon.  Why?  I have easily spoke to the events that have occurred, but these reason are because I would not play their game; I just played their game a bit differently, but yet, a little the same.  I decided to take down an entire community, one nation, one government, and several crimes all in one motion of the pen.  These reasons have been outlined throughout my story thus far; I find more and more reasons that mankind plays me as the fool.  If we stop and examine a time not too long ago, but in our distant past where one man was played as the fool differently than other men have played the men of the Holy Bible as the fool.

Jesus Christ was played as the fool in many ways which are still unknown to mankind; these stories are being communicated to me, Carroll Scherber, through the words of Jesus Christ and our Holy Father.  The games we are here to play are the games that came down from the Kingdom of Heaven; these games we share a little the same as the Jesus Christ shared with his men and women of his time.  Each man, each woman, each child and each animal has been played as the fool.  What we don’t see is how our Holy Father plays mankind as the fool.  When He plays us as the fool, he plays us as the fool.  When He finds His children, the ones that are to lead man and women out, He places trials and stresses upon these men; whereas, the women are the ones who are there to comfort the men and children, whereas, the children are there to comfort and build a companionship with our animal kingdoms.

Each of these men where played as the fool in differently than each woman was played as the fool; each man plays a game as an animal, whereas, each woman plays a game as an animal.  Each animal plays each animal as the fool upon its backside.  Do our fingers play each man, woman or child as the fool?  Can you answer these questions within the mirror?  Can you answer the questions with someone pointing a finger?  Can you answer these questions with someone on your backside?  As animal, we or they don’t have to answer these questions; we or they just dig their claws into our or their backsides without question.  The reasons animals have are to play a game with each other; are we the animals or are the animals the animals within a kingdom of games?  Animals play these games either for food, training, growth or for fun.  How they play these games is up to the animal; whereas, how we play these games as mankind is up to mankind…that is each and every one of us.

Mankind has been known to play games with animals, and animals have been known to play games with mankind.  Mankind is still playing games with animals, animals are still playing games with animals, and mankind is still playing games with mankind.  I’ll agree that mankind are animals just as animals are animals are to mankind.  Animals play us as the fool for food, animals played us as the fool for change as to mankind played animals as the fool for growth and expansion.  Today, mankind still plays mankind as the fool for science, technology, food, and growth in population, experimentation, incarceration, comedy, parody, knowledge, training, leadership, mentoring, and a pursuit of identity.  Another way to play man as the fool is through deformation of character, plagiarism, and to falsely accuse one based on your own beliefs.

Where are the animals?  Where is mankind?  We are standing right here before you, we are right here behind you, and we are right here next to each other; or, next door or down the street.  However, you see yourself …look upon the mirror; change its lighting if you cannot see, change its view if you cannot follow, or change the animal that stands before the looking glass.  There are many more animals that stand behind you waiting for the mirror.  As we gaze and ogle in the reflecting glass we change its lighting depending on the mood or the mood of the reflection that peers back at us.  We enhance the shadows or we contrast the features whether the features be upon our faces or the features of where the reflecting glass appears.  The reflecting glass is set before us just as a pool of water is rises in the oasis.  As to whether we allow another to take their turn in the reflecting pool, or if we allow another animal to drink beside us; the lighting always changes, the mood always looks dim, the faces always look the same, and the water is always washes away our disgraces.

The water in the reflecting pool always rotates, clockwise or counterclockwise.  The water is always revolving with the changes in the day, the night, the rising of the sun, or the setting of ball that glows in the evening horizon.  The pool bends and curves around our faces just as the light brightens our nature.  The reflecting pool is a view to follow, because whether you are animal or man, man or woman, woman or child you eyeball and scrutinize the image that sets before you.  The animal that stands behind you is waiting to point a finger for the animal that stands beside you is ready place a paw in the water that holds your image.  The water in the pool is still the same as it was just moments ago; but, the image in the water is different than is was seconds ago if it was not moments ago.

So, as the line to the oasis grows, so do the faces of the animal kingdom who wish to gawk and stare upon the faces that have come before them.  Some animal refuse to move, some animals wish to take their time, some animals are in a hurry, and some animals never leave.  The mirror which reflects the pool of images either grows or withdrawals.  As animals we either move forward or we cower away; but, when we stand there alone… we stand there alone.  The images are always altering, the rings are always transforming, and the faces which hold our images are always shifting; whereas, the shifting rings upon our faces always revealing.  As the rings change around our faces, so do the rings around those who stand next to us.  When we replace the lines either on our faces or the lines that stand behind us, we can create a ring of animals and people around us who are with us and not against us.  If they are against us, then their fingers are pointing towards us; so, when you are in the reflecting glass alone and a finger is pointing toward you, then you are pointing a finger against those who are against you.

Now you see the paw that sets before you, here is where you reach for my hand.  My hand is a link to my heart; whereas, my heart is a connection to my head.  My paws always being washed, whereas, my hands always wash my faces.  My paw can be placed into your hand; whereas, you paw can be placed into mine.  Your hands wash your faces; whereas, your hands wash away the sin.  Our transgressions and our sins can be seen upon our faces because the distortion of the reflection is visible to those who don’t place their hands and paws to their faces as we wash away sin, the grief, the strife, the anguish, the misery, the heartache, and the dirt from the day.  As we either wash our hands or faces in the pool of water that washes away our transgression which cleanses us of sins, we raise our heads to see who is around us, or those who stand behind us.  We all gather at the same oasis due to this is the only water that rises in the desert; whereas, this is location of the water that rises and falls in the sink before us.

As my hands wash away my sins my heart is supposed to be lead to purity; but, my head does not erase the transgression.  The cleanliness of my heads does not mean my heart is pure; the purity of my heart does not mean my head has not lead me in to transgression.  My head is full of thought, my hands are full of dirt, and my heart is full of pain and anguish.  My head can release my emotion; whereas, my heart can feel my release of torment.  Your hands reach for my paws, so my heart can release the suffering where your head can open your heart to mine.  Your heart can open and close as your hand closes around mine; your head can be close-minded, whereas, your heart can be open.  Your head can be open, but your paw can be closed; whereas, my heart opens to yours, but your heart can be closed to mine.

We all meet at the oasis, we all gather at places, we all glance at one another, and we explore the water for the water is there for us to either drink or to wash our hands and faces.  Where we fail is when the finger that points in our direction may be the claw within the paw that rips away at our heads and our hearts.  Our hands are the ones that lead us into sin for our heads are the ones that lead us into transgression.  When we follow the finger we follow those who will either lead us into temptation or lead us into guidance.  Our fingers can easily equal our mouths, our mouths can easily swallow the sin that was taken into our hands, and our paws and mouths tear away at the sin that we are ready to devour.  We share our decision to either take the guidance of our leader, or we chose to consume the knowledge which is brought before us.  Where we place our heads, our hearts and our hands are where we place our faces, our paws and our beliefs.

We follow the finger no matter what direction it points; it point up, down, right, left, forward or backward and maybe even sideways.  Our fingers go around in circles and so do our lives.  The direction is for us to choose.  The guidance is for us to take.  When, we choose make our decision as to follow or lead then we are the ones responsible for the direction we lead others.  In the military, we are provided all sorts of guidance and leadership no matter if it is wrong or if it right.  Do we question the guidance or do we question our leadership?  In Boot Camp, we are brought down to our knees; not to suck someone’s dick or eat out someone’s ass, but brought down to our knees psychologically to improve ourselves and to prove our dedication to leadership.  We are sometimes torn apart as an animal tears and chews away at its new kill; whereas, by the element of surprise we are brought a trophy to inspire and motivate us as an adult lion brings her cubs a meal for her pride.  As our trophies grow; so, do we.  As our adolescence grows we strength our spirit; our spirit may be weak, our spirit it may be strong, our spirit may not be known, but our spirit can always be set free.

We consume the knowledge and guidance set before us, we mature and grow based on this information, we become wise and learned to instill into others the confidence and character of our nature.  Our character and nature grows as our animalistic nature grows; what we choose to do with it is our choice.  Our determination as to the character we are going to play is based upon our willpower to overcome the obstacles that are set in our way.  The obstacle can easily be the animal that we chase down and hunt, the obstacle can be another animal waiting in the lurches, or the obstacle can easily be the ignorance of our leadership.  How we choose to overcome the obstacle can be to take the animal by surprise; or maybe, just maybe… to play the animal as the fool.  To play the animal as the fool is to take the animal by surprise as we are waiting in the lurches.  We speed to the attack and take the animal down that is on the chase for his meal.  We jump upon the animal’s backside with all our weight and dig our claws into the meat where we can take the animal by the throat.

So…, now we have a fresh kill we can either decide as to what to do with the meat.  Do we either share this meal as we share our oasis or do we squander and take this collation as our own reward?  If we share what is before us, then we share all that is placed before us.  If we choose to scoff down a feast by ourselves, then we have chosen a path of instability.  Our pathways are chosen by our actions; our inactions are our obstacles.  Whether are instability is are obstacle is only determined by our gluttony.  In what manner we choose to destroy our prey can be illustrated by our leadership and management; are management can be consumed by gluttony and self-righteousness.  Our guidance and mentorship can steer us into the wrong direction as our animalistic nature can raze us into devastation.  This behaviour can send us into exile just as an animal who has been exiled from the pack.  How we choose to lead can be determined as to how well we follow just as how well we listen is determined as to how well we hear.  If we hear the call to feast upon our meal, then we have heard the call to share our wealth.  If we have chosen to remain silent and fend off merging predators, then we may have conversely decided the road of isolation for this pathway is where self-guidance and spiritualism can be self-motivating.

Isolation is a lonely one even for an animal; the animal must learn to hunt and fend for one’s self.  Humanity can be desolate if isolated.  One must seek out knowledge, mentorship, guidance and counselling to lead us into a direction for either animal or mankind to stand in the forefront of humanity.  As an animal, we stand upon all fours, open our mouths and raise our paws to defend and stand over our prey.  As humans, we stand upon two feet even for those who cannot stand but must sit; we have the right to defend either one’s self or the right to defend others where the rights of one’s self or others no matter the cost of the leadership and direction that has been provided.  Even a leader can provide misdirection, they can make you look like a buffoon, they can propel you into a direction like no other, or they can cause a cataclysmic episode as to where the devastation can bring about change.  Consequently, the end result is in the hands of the outcast.  Even the outcast of the pride can make a change; the outcast can be welcome into a herd of various animal kingdoms because the outcast may go unnoticed.

If the outcast is considered the fool, then who are we?  Are we not equally the fools for sending out the animal to lay down near the lamb?  Or, are we the fools for placing ourselves upon his backside with our claws tearing away at his flesh?  As we tear our claws into the flesh to reveal the meat, do we find a heart where we may find a brain; or, do we find an arrow piercing the heart where we may find the color of violence?  We know that our brains are not near our hearts, but our souls are held in safe keeping; whereas, the brain is in control of how we protect our hearts, our brains and our souls.  Do we look to our hearts, or do we look to our intelligence to guide us?  Our souls are guided by our hearts, whereas, our hearts are guided by our head to extend our hand which will lead us in to change.  Violence will bring change, knowledge will bring intelligence, ignorance will bring stupidity, and kindness will bring transformation.  Your transformation is based upon how you manipulate the information and how you learn.  Some learn by reading, some learn by doing, some learn through visualization, and some are tacticians who are those that learn by reading, doing and through visualization.

Our behaviour can either be violent in nature or it tolerant; how we choose to utilize our behaviour is based on our see ourselves.  Our souls are going to determine our nature, animalistic or not; whereas, our minds are going to determine how we behave.  So, are we going to behave like animals or are we going to be behave as intelligent beings?  Animal or not, human or not; we are still animals whether we stand upon two feet or whether we crawl upon all fours.  How we choose to walk across the earth or crawl upon the gravel pit, or how we slither into another’s life we have the right to spread our wings and soar across the skies.  We are all here for a reason, so let’s choose, let’s decide, let’s make an educated decision, let’s ask for guidance, let’s stand for a purpose, let’s act upon our knowledge for which we have been provided, and let’s act upon the mouth piece, the ears and eyes we have been provided.  We use these thing to gain wisdom into our actions; we use these things to gain wisdom into another’s actions.  How we choose to utilize all these things is depending on how we choose to fulfill our lives.

Let’s ask a friend, let’s ask a family member, let’s ask a teacher, let’s ask a mentor, let’s ask adult, let’s ask a child, let’s ask professor, let’s ask a person who obtains the knowledge for whom we gained the information, and let’s as ourselves do I truly know what I’m talking about.  As an animal we are taught, we are mentored, we are educated in the ways of a hunter and killer, and we imparted with a gift of playfulness.  As mankind, we are furnished with the same instincts; how we choose to impart these gifts are the decisions that we make.  Even as animals we make decisions on a daily basis whether they are right or wrong, whereas, as humankind we make deceive decisions as to whether the answers are wrong or right; we also make a decision as to whether to ask a question.  As a part of the animal kingdom we are different because we have been granted with a gift of conscience; whereas, as if we were just animals walking, crawling or slithering across the gravel pit or whether if we swim distances across the ocean we are only behaving in our animalistic nature for which we were taught or mentored.

In the animal kingdom we are seek acceptance for our behaviour, our attitude, our knowledge, and our appearance.  In the species of man, we are seeking for forgiveness.  In the species of animals, we take so we can thrive.  As man or woman, we set before ourselves the decisions and places we elect.  When we travel in a pack, a tribe, a herd or a clan; whereas, mankind we have opted to travel in the same form or we have opted to travel independently.  The path we choose is a pathway to a roadway in the animal kingdom.  The doorway we choose is a doorway to the Kingdom of Heaven or a doorway to the Animal Kingdom from the Kingdom of Heaven.  The places we pick are the places we prefer; the keys we hold are the keys we place in our pockets.  The keys we hold in our hands are the keys that will open our hearts.  The keys we deploy to open the doorway to the roadway into our hearts is through our head.  As to how we benefit from the keys to these open doorways will lead us upon a roadway of a lifelong decisions that will take us through the Animal Kingdom and into the Kingdom of Heaven.

As we consume what we deplete we waste the information that we have spent a lifelong time learning.  The lifelong lessons are our lifelong lessons in life, in education, in leadership, in mentorship, in teaching, in sponsorship and in companionship. Animal kingdom does not waste the meals for which they have partaken, nor the knowledge of the teachings which lead them into the afterlife.  In this animal kingdom our afterlife is the life in the hereafter, and as how we choose to get into the afterlife is an indication of how we choose to live this life.  We all do something differently in the animal kingdom where we all do something the same.  We all do something the same in mankind, whereas, we all do something differently as humans.  If this is unclear then maybe life is unclear, and we should wipe the dirt from the looking glass before we wash away the gossip from our faces.  The mud that resides within the oasis is where the water once stood; and the scuttlebutt is what looms over the earth.

I just heard this evening a line that brings to light the truth about ignorance; it reads, “Say something so that I know that you are not really hurt.”  And, where the reply reads, “I’m really hurt.”  Do you see the ignorance this this statement; do you see the ignorance that has been placed before you?  If I were to tell you something about the difference between a “Stupid Mother Fucker” and a “Dumb Mother Fucker,” would you be able to recognize the differences in the mirror or in the water which now diminishes before our irises in the oasis where we have come to gather.  The watering hole can either be around the scuttlebutt, or in the desert for which the animal kingdom plays these games.  Hence, the difference between a “Stupid Mother Fucker” is the difference between a “Dumb Mother Fucker;” where the “Dumb Mother Fucker” wades into the mud and is surely to get stuck, and the “Stupid Mother Fucker” is the one who fails to wash away the mud from his or her faces.

Some of us may not wear mud upon our faces, but we wear the lies which lie in the lines of our faces.  In a pride of animals the lines may not be seen, but the wrinkles upon the body show the age of the lion; whereas, the irises hold the youth of our eyes when we gaze into the looking glass which hold the reflecting pools of our corneas.  So, when we walk up on a mother fucker, do we look then in the eye and say, “Oh, my fucking god, Mother Fucker” without signify as to what kind of mother fucker they are?  Either the diminishing waters of the oasis where the palms rise above the earth signify the wealth of the land or irises of the animal kingdom signify the wealth of knowledge which one may hold whether if the facts are true or if the gossip is a “Big Fat Lie.”  The wealth holds are riches, our riches hold our fortune, and our fortune hold our resources which come in abundance upon this gravel pit of life.

When the resources are left to one man or one woman who is going to stand and confront the mother fucker as to whether if the data is accurate of if it is false.  For false data can lead to an inaccuracy of evidence; whereas, true data can lead to knowledge, communication, and wisdom.  These things bring companionship, honesty, partnership, heroism, valor, integrity, intrepidness and bravery to stand against the foe which may hold the ignorance and self-righteousness of their leadership.  We all have taken a pathway through our irises to open or close a doorway which awaits the truth.  For the truth is what leads us into another’s home; whereas, the lies turn us away from the wisdom of another’s soul.  Each of us plays a part in the animal kingdom of life; as to what part we play lies in the forefront of the mirror.  What lies behind us is another animal waiting to find out who they are in the reflecting pool.  As the waters rise and fall so to the mother fuckers who travel along the gravel pit.  As the mother fuckers approach the reflecting glass, so do the mother fuckers who encroach upon the reflecting pools.

When you determine in either the reflecting glass or the reflecting pool as to whether you are a “Dumb Mother Fucker” or a “Stupid Mother Fucker” is dependent upon how often a change in the water occurs.  As the water ripples, so the waves in the ocean.  At the tables turn, so do the rules of the game.  So, when we look into the pools of each other’s irises I never stand alone; I am always there with an image of who I am.  As to whether the image of you appears to me is left up to you as to whether stand beside me where you and I can see each other, or if your decide to stand behind me and point a finger.  So, when you advance upon my backside, place your hand upon my shoulder and let me know that you are friend so I may look into your irises and tell you a “True and Factual Statement.”  Where your claws come over my shoulder I take as foe, or I take you as a playmate because you are my companion.  So, whether if you are there to mock me or if you are there to make fun of my image I raise a brow to signify as to who I am.  I stand there at the watering hole every day, every moment, every minute, and every second and every millisecond knowing as to who I am whether if the water wakes or ripples, or whether if the water turns to mud or if it should become clear.

As to whether you my story went untold or not is up to the mother fucking animals who share the oasis with me because the water turns either clockwise or counterclockwise, but the time on our faces always moves forward.  Where the droves of animals who stand behind me waiting their turn at the pools because the lines where we stand in front of the mirror increases in size and length, because each person who stands behind me is just another mother fucking animal who does not know who they are and is awaiting their turn to wash away the dirt and grime from their faces.  So, when I walk away from the reflecting glass and you take your places where you place your two because at the watering hole we place our four feet I can either turn to you and greet you or I can walk away from you because you face is covered in the disgust to which you are about to wash away the lave of dirt which resides in places within the lines and circles of your faces.

When we walk away from the pools which hold our disgraces, do we let the water drain from the basin or do we let it stand for another animal to do the job for you?  Do you stand there and go “Oh, my fucking god” when the basin reveal the evidence of the last animal that was standing in front of the looking glass, or do you clean away their disgrace gracefully, or do you hide the evidence inside a container under the sink?  As you look upon the evidence that remains you see the animal that stood there before you.  You may not recognize the intelligence of the animal, but you may see it characteristics.  The characteristics of animal that stood there before you are as simple as the features in ones faces.  You can tell where one has been or where one is traveling to; for the pathway to the receding water is through evaporation or through a drain pipe.  The earth hold the water for which we have discarded, the earth holds the mud for which the water retreated, and the earth holds the disgraces within the mud for which it has washed away.

What we choose to do is what we choose to do; what they choose to do is what they choose to do.  Subsequently, we are left with the loam which will either hard our head or our hearts, because the clay is now returned to the earth.  As we will be either their buried or cremated, we become the clay which others will drink from; and as to what we take with us is left up to the animal that stands before the reflecting pool.  So, I look up and I look down and find that there are two pools which hold my irises; one may be clear as glass and or the other may full of earth which stores the water for which we are to drink from.  I am lucky, I am lucky; the basin is clear as glass.  There is no mud today, there is no disgrace, there is no misfortune, there is no waste; there is only a crystal of water which peers as reflecting glass.  The water reflects the oasis, whereas, the mirror reflects my image.  My images are now being echoed in the places I stand; and, I can now take my time to find out who I truly am.

The time I spend is the time I choose to spend for the lines increase and never descend.  So…, if I were to tell another man’s story, I would speak of a man who has shown me a mirror which carries the truth of who I am.  The mirrors below me are the pools which wash away the images of who I am, and the mirrors before me echo the mirrors which hold my soul.  Where my image holds the truth and the waters hold the lies, I can place my hands within the water to place my hands upon my faces.  As the waters wash away my faces the waters wash away the lies; the truth is what is left behind.  I am here in the water, I am here in the glass, I am here upon my two feet, and I am here… I am here before you.  I am here in the mirror and I am here standing in line before you; whereas, you are standing here behind me looking to the reflecting glass watching me and waiting.  Fittingly, you are my shadow, you are my friend, you are my companion, you are my family, and you are not my foe.  These animals are man, these animals are woman, and these animals are animal waiting to be fed.

When you rise from the water, you rise from disgrace.  When you look across, you look with deliberateness.  With the look of deliberateness you stop and glare with wonder as to who the image is in the mirror.  The image is a new picture because every picture is not the same.  Every picture is a new face especially the face that looks and glares back at me with deliberateness.  Now, with my faces washed and my sins in the basin before me I now have to make that decision as to whether to drain the basin or let evaporation take its toll upon my sin.  Maybe, if I look behind me… I can see another who awaits me.  Do I wish to show him or her my sin, or do I remove the evidence of my lies.  So, if I decide to sewage my lies, then, I decide to hide behind the cloak for which I have shielded my irises from.  Against my hand lies my dagger; my dagger is my finger, and my mouth is my sword.  So, when I remove my dagger from my sword, I can remove the lies for which I am about to abandon.  The cloak which has shielded my irises is the image I bury in cosmetics; for these are the masks I wear.  My lies now lie beneath the drain pipe, and I now have a new cloak over my irises.

I am now ready; I have taken my time.  I turn to you without a word.  I place my arm around your shoulder, and my paw grasp the hand you have eagerly given to me.  I do not say what I found in the mirror for I am not quite sure.  I still have buried myself inside the lies for which I have failed to tell a candid statement where sincerity and goodness of mankind shall rest.  As I turn away from you, I turn and look back into the mirrors of reflection to take notice that another has taken my place, and another is waiting their turn.  Do I question the whether if I drained the basin for which lied my disgust of who I am, or do I question the mother fucker who has to look upon himself or herself?  Do I question whether if they see the same thing or the same things that I have seen?  They may have seen something differently about me, or maybe the see something the same about themselves.  I turn back around and nudge you with my nose still not revealing who I am.  I am covered in cloak with a sword in my mouth whereas this time my dagger is in my words.  I may still be your friend, I may still be your family, I may even be covered in a uniform, or I may not be covered at all; nevertheless, I am here… I am here… I am here right beside you and all others are left at the pools of reflection with mirrors to their souls awaiting the revelation of spirit to be brought upon them.

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Binxy & Scrabble Notable Quotables

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05/27/2014 ~

Remember, Carroll Scherber, these are the words of our first and foremost president of the United States, “You, Carroll Scherber, have done something that nobody has done in a long time and that was to take on an entire nation with the strength of your own head, heart and hand; for your are changing the world that is before us.  ~ George Washington, Our First President of the United States

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Difficulty Keeping the Faith in One’s Self

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It’s difficult to have faith in one’s self when your faith has been stolen by those who would play you as the fool.  I had faith a long time ago for now is the time I must regain my faith for my life cycle through the depression which is brought upon by the lack of faith you have in me.  I have not caused my depression, for I have created my optimism to see beyond the ignorance and intolerance that you hath brought to me.  For I have not taken from your home or your heart, for you have taken from my head, my heart and my hand.  When you return my head, when you return my heart and when you return my wages I may consider you in my arms to hold, to treasure, to love, to respect and above all to give you my tolerance and my integrity for these are the things that come to each of us when we lend an open ear and an open hand to each other; for I am here to lend you head, my hear and my hand.  I can only hope that these words don’t fall upon deaf ears, for these words are written upon paper with pen and ink where I share my mind that was eagerly taken from me for a test experiment for which I have yet to recover.  I do not know if I ever shall, for those who have stolen these things from me have stolen them from blind ignorance and blind respect for the individual; just as they have stolen a man’s identity.

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As Why They are Playing the Man as the Fool

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I find myself living in solace all the time since my suffocation; a community, several Sheriff’s Stations and many friends have alienated me because I wouldn’t play a game.  What games are these; well, to be honest, these games come in many and various varieties for each person has had their own version of the game.  These games could be interpreted Roman and Greek in nature; however, these games are not about our Olympians, for these games are about:

~           Wrongful accusations to equate to wrongful arrest, deformation of character and character assentation

~       Human experimentation on the mind; such as, mind control, behavioral modification and forced hallucinations

~       The freedom of thought has been exploited; behavioral modification has limited you to freedom of thought for your thoughts have to be shared with those who are ignorant and believe they are in their sole right to control and manipulate one’s mind.  For I am no puppet and refuse to be controlled by those who are ignorant in their own self-righteous ways.

~           Wrongful thinking that because you are a Sheriff make you on the right-side of the law

~           Sexual exploitation and sexual assault

~           Identity fraud and identity theft

~           Internet fraud and tampering

~           End User Licensing Agreement (EULA) policies

~           Personal self-gratification

~           Wages and employment; to deny one employment due to circumstantial, hearsay and human experimentation

~       Keeping a man incarcerated for self-gain, small claims suits and experimentation

~       Invasion of privacy and integrity; when a person must comply to another man’s or woman’s wishes to meet what they think one should either look like, behave like, or meet their timely schedule

~       Property damage and theft

~       Braking into one’s personal computer from a remote location

~           Building a psychological weapon within the Sheriff’s Station to gain profit from an persons knowledge as the events that have been incurring

~       To imprison one into one’s household by acts of terrorism, and either to hold a conversation between individual inside the Sheriff’s Station or for another to get an erection to create an open ended web and video pornographic movie to exploit a person as the fool face down upon a mattress

~       To keep a person clean and sober when the monitor could not met the same requirement

~       To call one man crazy upon his arrest and to admit him into a psychiatric ward without probable cause

~       To have a person submit to a blood draw for a Urinary Incontinence (UI) without probable cause

~       To have a psychiatric ward play a game with a person to have them call them out on a Big Fat Lie and to call them a Mother Fucker to their face

~       Reinforcing a bond between a community and friends

~       To build a connective chain of individuals who would be able to buy their narcotics without the use of a communications device

~       Have to realize as who we are in the Sheriff’s Station and standup to each of us and call us a Mother Fucker

~       The Sheriff’s station obtained knowledge of my psychic visions, interpreted them to meet what they thought they should mean due to their own ignorance to play a game with a man’s trails and passages that he would have to fulfill prior to ruling over in the Kingdom of Heaven

~       To tell a Big Fat Lie to a bunch of programmable computer people who have their own equipment sucked under a desktop while viewing videos that people have open a video camera to a person’s backside, or the use of a narcotic across the internet because they did not create, develop or read a EULA policy for which the each website must have to open an internet account

~       To play a game to have a man to be played as the fool so he can enter the Sheriff’s Station as an Office-of-the-Law, or so he may get a ride-along inside a squad car baring false identification of one’s self.  For this part of the game was built upon a false promise to play a person the fool.

~       To blatantly tell a Big Fat Lie to a person to remove one’s self out of a programmable computer and the Kingdom of Heaven that they were deceased rather than archiving a file folder to deny your right into the Kingdom of Heaven for the Animal Kingdom will not know as to whom they are delivering upon their backsides into the Kingdom of Heaven.

~       How to keep an individual in the dark due to their own games haven’t been played with or by their alternate family member; so, one man would have to learn each family member’s game in order to play each of these men and women as the fool.  And, how to play a man as the fool is the fool’s games they all wanted to play.

Now that we know why they all are trying to play one singular man as the fool, when do play with themselves and record the documents for which they have been provided.  For each man and woman had a particular reason to play this man as the fool, as I have listed above to ensure the proclivities of their behaviour has been brought to light for their own ignorance as brought justice upon themselves.  When a Sheriff stops to polish his badge and gun are they exercising their right to serve and protect a citizen or are they exercising their right to brandish their jockstrap on to expose their true nature that one’s ass is there to sit upon one’s backside and not to expose inside their personal behaviour.  We few or all have made asses out of ourselves but to make a man a fool for your own belief as to how to play a man as the fool is absurd.  For I myself decided to play all these fools in the same manner, which is a proper form as to which they should be played.  When I examine by Theatrical background, to play one man as the fool is to pull a prank or a joke upon the individual; but to have man arrested multiple times over and over is only away to show that you are playing a game with a man’s life instead of standing behind the name your bare upon your chest which sits perpendicular to your badge that qualifies you to be an officer-of-the-law.

If you are going to wear your badge in this manner, then you better wear your badge upon the front-side of your jockstrap; for your jockstrap already comes with a badge which is usually them name brand of you particular style of jockstrap.  For now the only thing that you have exposed is your ass because you took off your uniform which revealed your dick.  As you were busy polishing your dick you badge numbers may have worn off which may lead to misrepresentation as to who you truly are.  Are you just a dick, or are you just an ass in a uniform?

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When You Have Lived With Big Fat Liars

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When you have lived with big fat liars upon empty promises, why then should I, Carroll Scherber, bring forth my heart for other to lay upon a stone where man can place a dagger through my cloak to extract my be-loving heart to raise upon into the sky for my heart is protected by my identity for which I place in safe keeping and guard form evil and wickedness throughout the demon known as Lucifer, for Lucifer is supposed to be known as the Devil in disguise.  Whereas, I know differently for the Devil you know as Lucifer is a big fat lie; because the Devil you all know is within our cloaks that we wear before we enter the Kingdom of Heaven for if you are going to stand naked before the Lord then be ready to stand naked before me for I am the Lord, Carroll Scherber, that you and all have been waiting for over two millennium.  I am here waiting to receive you into my arms to carry you through the Animal Kingdom which carries you upon their laps into the arms of Satan which carries you upon his backside into the Kingdom of Heaven. 

For now, you all know that I, Carroll Scherber, am here waiting to receive upon my backside for I am the Light, the Truth and the Way for all mankind to be received into the gateway of the Kingdom of Heaven.  Here I stand naked with you, homosexual and all for I am not embarrassed as to whom I am.  I am your Light, I am your Truth, I am your Obsolvance, I am your Savior, and I am your Creator; so, here I stand waiting for your forgiveness for your transgression and for your trespass against me, Carroll Scherber, your Lord and Savior.  When you stand with me I stand with you for I am ready to receive you and baptize you into the Light, the Truth and the Way for if you are ready to receive me into your household I am ready to receive you into my arms and bring you forward into the Light for you bring with you the truth and leave your past behind you which carries your big fact lies; so, if you are ready to receive the Light into your household then pick up your communications devices and speak the truth when you speak to me for your Holy Father and Jesus Christ are waiting for you and your family is waiting to bring you to Him.  For He is already there to receive you and all that have come before you, as you know I am here upon the gravel pit already to receive you. 

 

Now that you know that I, Carroll Scherber and his Holy Father with Jesus Christ are ready to receive you into the Kingdom of Heaven; then be ready now to receive me into your home for now is the time to let go of your transgressions for you are still trespassing against yourselves and against each other for I have not trespassed against you nor have I transgressed against thy neighbor for I am doing my best to receive each and every one of you in my arms.  No is the time you should bring your sins forward into the Light for the Light is here to shine before you naked or not; for I do not wear clothing at times as you do not wear your transgressions upon you shoulder where your carry your children into their bedroom where we read upon a book to tell a story of a man who happened to bring you the Light and the Truth about a man who was deceived through the Sheriff’s Station and throughout his community and our political government to set forth a new future in communications and prosperity where we all hope to be in the near future of mankind.

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